"Start Of Something"

Now, I know, where to go,
I'm not following the crowd,
But, there's, so many things just staring at me.
I'm not going, with the flow,
I gotta wave 'Goodbye', and say 'Hello',
To unfamiliar circumstances.

Oo-h, I'm gonna start believing in myself,
It's up to me, and no one else.
I feel it.
This could be the start of something.
I can feel, my heart is jumping.
Want to walk, but can't stop running,
Oh, I can't stop running.
Good to be, a part of something.
Once, a part of someone's nothing.
This could be the start of something,
This could be the start of something good.

Life's a bitch, life's a mess,
Tryin'a find your way, it's not that easy,
It's not the way it looks on TV.
I'm fully clothed, but still undressed,
Like, I'm walked on the highest wire,
without a safety net below me.

O-h There ain't another place I'd rather be,
Listen to the voice inside of me, that's shouting:
This could be, the start of something.
I can feel, my heart is jumping.
Want to walk, but can't stop running,
Oh, I can't stop running.
Good to be, a part of something.
Once, a part of someone's nothing.
This could be the start of something.
This could be, the start of something good.

This could be where I belong,
It's just so good to belong.
Maybe, this time is the one,
Maybe, this time is the one time I've been waiting for.

This could be, the start of something,
I can feel, my heart is jumping.
Want to walk, but can't stop running,
This could be the start of something good.

So, today, I met up with Catherine (My friend, Alison's older sister...not that Catherine isn't my friend, too.) She's on holiday from Oxford university, so it was nice to see her. We ambled around town for a few hours, and it was fun.
I haven't done much else, it's still fairly early in the day...
I'm going away on holiday the day after we break up from school, which Fia just asked me. Because she wants to meet up with me.
Sadly, I won't be around enough.

I guess it doesn't matter, she has other friends anyway. Though, the two people I do want to see during the holiday - well, I can't see Fia because of being away - and the other hasn't bothered to tell me when he's coming home, even when I asked. Which probably means he doesn't want to tell me or see me, which is just 'peachy'. (Heavy on the sarcasm, there.) Well, whatever, I can't make people want to see me.
I'll just sell his present on eBay if he doesn't bother to arrange to meet up some time in the next week.
Wait, that sounds very cruel...

But, I'd be upset, so...maybe I would be cruel about it...I don't know. Ah, I'm so mean. XD :(
Not really, actually, I'm quite nice...I think. I try hard for people, so why shouldn't i get something back once in a while?
I'm trying to be less of a doormat for people...I find it difficult. I usually just let them have their way if I care about them, few and far between, but still.
I'd just appreciate it if people cared once in a while...but, you can't play with someone's heart either, because it's unfair. I hope I never hurt anyone like that...
It's doubtful I would, not because I don't have it in me...I think it can be fairly said that every human being has the ability to rip another's heart out metaphorically. (In some cases probably literally, but that'd be murder...). Yes, anyway, I just don't think people notice me enough to get hurt by me like that. So, I suppose everyone's safe from me.

I'm not even interested in other people anymore. Haha. Not in a selfish, 'The World Revolves Around Me' way, just, that I'm not the person I used to be. I refuse to rely on anyone anymore. :) Ever.

I'm on the last episode of Heroes now. :D yay!

"There's no way out here, there's nothing left in here.
No time for loving, no.
Are you really gonna throw it all away?
Are you really gonna throw it all away?
There's no love in a fight song, only the sound of your heart breaking."

I think, that there are times when...it's okay to be confused...
If that makes sense.
Sometimes I feel so happy with the new life I've been able to make since starting sixth form...a friendship group, the work, myself...I'm proud of myself, in a way.
But, at the same time, beneath the surface, all day, it's like there's this sadness just waiting to break out...like then the meniscus of water breaks over a beaker. There's something stopping it from spilling over, but, any second it might just split apart and fall away, letting everything come tumbling out. I'm not sure...if it's bad to feel this way though.

I've never felt like this before, if I'm honest.
There were times when I was younger, when I used to feel so hurt and constantly scared at school that I couldn't trust anyone, but...it's not like that.
I trust people, and I'm thankful that I have the friends I do right now, because they're fantastically special.
But, it's not like anything else.
I've had times were I've felt angry because of why I hurt, others when I just felt lost and pathetic...but, I don't think it's like any of that. I used to be able to not feel it, it wasn't always, but somewhere along the way it seems to have taken root.
It's weird to describe, but, physically, I feel it, it's like there's a numb area in my chest that wasn't there before. *sigh* Oh well.
Maybe I'm going to have a heart attack? :)

I'm not trying to be angsty, I got sidetracked by a sad song, sorry! haha.

What type of calendar shall I get myself this year?
There's a list of ones I like at the moment.
(This is a very important part of the year - calendar choosing)

• TrueBlood
• Buffy The Vampire Slayer
• Heroes
• Star Trek
• Transformers
• Johnny Depp (Because he's just so cute XD)
• Zachary Quinto...if they make one, and if they don't...THEY SHOULD!

So, yes, those are my choices...I think I'll probably buy the Heroes one, to be honest, or Star Trek. I'm just so cool like that. I just realised Zachary Quinto's in both...heh. All good then.

Other stuff...that's randomly come into my head...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I'd like another corset. <3>Ah well.

Maybe I should just become a lesbian?

Kissing girls, eh? No, I can't really see myself doing, or enjoying that...it doesn't really appeal. Okay, I guess, a very small part of my does find the idea interesting, experimentation and all that crap...and Sienna Miller. OMG.

Anyway, it's in realm of no, lesbianism.

Lesbians don't see Zachary Quinto shirtless and melt, or read about Eric in TrueBlood and wonder why the hell Sookie doesn't just dump Bill and get together with Eric. He-llo! Why would she not want Eric? Pft. He's blond, blue eyed, powerful, amusing, not too muscular and really tall. What is not to like there?!

Bill's just...rough and manly...and muscle. Bleh. Not a good type of (okay, not MY) manly. Plus, she can have a conversation with Eric.

Okay, it's a BOOK! I don't care...why am I ranting about it? It's not real life. Probably a good thing Eric's not real...I'd jump his bones without a second thought. *sigh* Very good thing he isn't real.

Anyway, I'm working on a Physics project about swords - how awesome is that?! - I chose the topic because:

1) Swords are awesome.

2) They're very historical.

3) I get to bring a sword into school.

4) SWORDS FOR THE WIN!

5) I want one.

6) I wish I was a Ninja.

7) There's a Katana in Heroes - seal of approval.

8) They're just cool.

9) I know a lot about swords.

10) Too much.

11) I WANT TO BE A NINJA, DAMMIT!

I should go and do that awesome Physics project now...and my Chemistry exam paper.

Farewell, for now.

Bon Jour ~!

Okay, well, I've had a blog before but that didn't go so well.
Or, more it did, but, adding to it just doesn't seem right after some of the stuff that's happened in my life recently.
So, I have decided to section off that piece of my life, and start a new blog - as you can see.

I don't quite plan to do the same things I did with my last blog - where it really was just a blog about my life, I guess.
I've now decided that I could do a lot more with a blog than talk about my boring self.
Or, at least, not all of the time. I am just a tad arrogant like that.

So, here goes, my first entry to the clean, new blog. It's quite fun making things like blogs...thinking up names and so on.
I wonder how some people just come up with striking names for their e-mails etc. and I have to think about it for ages. However, when it comes to naming characters...I string some letters together in my head and PING! character complete with personality, physical description and background appears in my mind.

I do suppose I should explain about myself a little bit...as, of course, it won't just be people that already know me reading my blog. I hope that people I know don't read my blog, if I'm honest...it scares me haha!
Okay, here goes:

My name is Francesca, though I'm known as Frankie, or Franky. Whichever spelling people choose, really. But, I prefer with an 'ie'...though, that connects to the reason I moved blogs so there are reasons why I have chosen to call myself Franky this way for the time being.
I'm sixteen, almost (I say almost to make myself feel better about being so young) seventeen. An Aries, which means nothing but I love my star sign. First in the zodiac, logical, determined, head-strong etc. That's very me.
I'm doing my A-levels at the sixth form of my old Girls' school. It's a mixed sixth form, but, it may as well not be. In a word ; Hell-no. (well, a hyphenated word :P)
I'm taking four subjects - I was doing Critical Thinking, too, but I dropped it because I found it unhelpful to my cause.
I study Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Pure maths with mechanics.

I enjoy Physics the most and hopefully, I'd like to take it at university. Provided I'm smart enough to get in anywhere.

So, aside from school-work, I'm pretty boring. I like cake ( who doesn't?), I don't have a favourite colour really but I do have a few I prefer. I don't have a favourite band, specifically. But, I love music so much! Generally, though I don't admit it that often, I enjoy classical music more than anything. I love Michael Buble, and Hayley Westernra (How cool is the name Westernra?...It's just awesome.)

I enjoy television series; I have a million box sets. Heroes is my favourite.
I read a lot, but, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing. I like thrillers, murder mysteries, Horror/ fantasy and romance. Yes, I'm a sucker for romance. I can't normally say so, because everyone thinks I'm a sap because of it. But, there's nothing wrong with romance novels. In fact, if anything, the thing about romance novels is they're not reality...and things don't work out as nicely as they do in books.

I like walking aimlessly, just...enjoying walking...in fact, forgetting you're walking but letting your feet just pad along like there's nothing in the world that could stop you.
I'm accident prone (walking aimlessly probably doesn't help me in that respect, sadly), have terrible balance - only on flat surfaces though - and I always seem to have some sort of injury. That's probably because I do kick-boxing though. :)
MMA is the most amazing thing after the previously mentioned! Oh, and Youtube is my child. It's so great. I don't really watch music videos, but I enjoy Katers17's Blog, a lot. It's hilarious.
And, generally I'll watch and anime I do watch on there.
I don't really like anime. It annoys me. Especially the voices. They're so irritating, I could strangle them.

But, I started pretending I disliked anime and manga all-together because some of the people I was and am close to acted like it was horrible. And, because of another person in my life, associated it with bad things, and arguments and me...I guess. So, I stopped letting anyone knows I liked it.
I do like manga though. Not so much anymore, but it's pretty to look at, and I enjoy drawing it.

I quote things a lot...films, song lyrics, other people, poems, Shakespeare, other literature etc. I love it.

I want an Xbox 360 SO much!!!! (There's my being truthful haha) I enjoy technology, like my iPod touch etc. They're awesome.

Aside from those kind of things, there isn't much else to my life. I have a love of cinema, and I have a job. My group of friends changes a lot because I move myself from tight groups. I rarely want to know people fully, which is a failing of mine. It's quite unlikely that I won't get bored of someone. There are a few rare exceptions in my life, but, generally I become disillusioned to people.
My best friend is Jack, but he lives far away from me, so I don't get to see him much. But, he's always there for me if I need to talk about things that upset me, or just laugh about nothing.
At school, my closest friends are in my Biology class, and we drive our poor, Irish teacher up the wall...accidentally.

Enough yattering away about me, okay, it's my blog, I am allowed but enough about things I like.
Oh, I like Ghost Hunt...thought I'd slip that in. Anyway, my day today...

First lesson off so I get a nice lie-in. My first lesson, which was second lesson was mechanics. Sadly I zoned out for most of it and ended up just writing part of the story I've started. Enough fanfiction for me. (well, aside from the joint one I'm working on) for a while.
Then I had break with Jade, Annie, Alice and Simon - and we chatted about nothingness and food. Which, was quite normal for us.
I had a Physics mock exam during my Physics double period, and then went over stuff for my Physics presentation on the use of steel in swords.
Panto rehearsals were on at lunch, in which I had a fight with Michael...for no reason, we just did. He asked me something, I ignored him, he kept staring at me, I pulled his hat over his eyes to stop him, he pushed me off the table and I slapped him. Then we went back to rehearsing.
Poor David's going to have to dress up as a girl because he's playing the nurse, and Pippa and the others want to drag him to Ann Summers, bless. Poor David.
He's pretty worried, and I don't blame him.
Even if I do kind of find Ann Summers shopping an interesting idea I wonder if I shouldn't have passed up before...I wonder if I could get someone to take me now...hmmm...

Anyway, it was amusing, no one in the group can act at all...the scene where Sleeping beauty gets pricked by a thorn on a rose culminated to ;
"Oh, Vincent, a rose - is that for me?"
"Oh, well, ye-"
"Thank-you, it's lovely."
"You see I've been wanting to tell you for a while I..."
(Pricks finger.) "Ouch." (Faints).

It was such a monotone of an ouch, too.

We had Biology last lesson, so, we sat and revised, and then started talking about The Jungle Book and Llama...and singing Disney songs.
Yes, this is my life.

Farewell for now. I'm off to watch Heroes. Season Three - '1961' :)