Baby, It's Fact

Just in case they're wondering
They've got us pinned terribly
They don't believe our love is real
Cause they don't know how real love feels

You should know it's true
Just now, the part about my love for you
And how my heart's about burst
Into a thousand pieces
Oh it must be true
And They'll believe us too soon

Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
The word black is black
And blue is just blue
My love is true
It's a matter of fact
Oh, and you love me too
It's as simple as that
Baby, our love is true

They may say some awful things
But there's no point in listening
Your words are the only words
That I believe in afterwards.

You should know it's true
Just now, the part about my love for you
And how my heart's about burst
Into a thousand pieces
So it must be true
And they'll believe us too soon

Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
The way black is black
And blue is just blue
My love is true
It's a matter of fact
Oh, and you love me too
It's as simple as that
Baby, our love is true

It's true
Oh oh oh
It's true
Oh oh ohhh
It's true
Whoa oh ohhh

Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
The way black is black
And blue is just blue
My love is true
It's a matter of fact
Oh, and you love me too
It's as simple as that

Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
The way black is black
And blue is just blue
My love is true
It's a matter of fact
Oh, and you love me too
It's as simple as that

Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
Ohhh
Baby, it's fact
Our love is true
Baby, it's fact
Ohhh
Baby, it's fact
Our love
Our love is true


I LOVE HelloGoodbye!
Omg, Heroes comes back on air today! Waa-hoo and Zachary Quinto's cotton socks with cherries. Okay...maybe that was a bit weird. XD Haha.
Anyway, anyway, anyway, so, it's been...um...four days since my last post, correct?
Of course, I could just check and then change this if I'm wrong, but I can't be bothered.
There is STILL snow outside.
I hate snow.
So much.
It's like...hell slushies. I don't like slushies either, if you hadn't guessed from that. I doubt anyone actually could guess that from that though.
So, okay, no school on Wednesday and Thursday. Then school ending early on Friday.
Met Jonathan after school, swapped (late) Christmas presents, and went to Kingston.
CEx is my love.
Well, not my only love...one of them. One of the not actual love loves...just love. If that makes sense. :)

Anyway, I have to stop saying anyway all the time when I run out of topics...
I haven't actually run out, just, wanted to change topic...which I do anyway.
Anyway...
Did that without even thinking about it! Ahhhhh! Lucky for me that I no longer study English, I suppose. I miss English, and History.
I think I'll become a geneticist is nothing else works out, or a journalist...maybe a historian and go and live in some desert somewhere...or, oh, I could do game design, or...fashion...or...Quantum Physics :P Or...I'd love to do writing...hmm...I want to be a dicrector! That sounds like so much fun!
But, my heart always turns to something (QP) I probably don't have the ability for. :(
Okay, well, I guess I shouldn't give up.

I have a new DA account.
Ivan just told me something amusing:

20:17 Ivan: I wanted to say good luck to you on friday but you kind of looked at me and walked away haha

Hahahahahahahahahaha.
How mean of me!
I didn't actually realise this at the time though...I don't even know when he's talking about but i love the fact that I just 'looked at him' and then walked away. Like 'pfft, as if.'

He's quite sweet really, even if we're not close friends anymore.
THAT BITCH TREEVA!
Ehem. She is though. As soon as I told Ivan I wasn't gonna hang out as much she was in there, and doesn't ever leave him alone.
Thing is, everyone thinks it's weird, 1- because she acts like his gf and she has a bf already. 2- because she's a bitch. 3- because they're not the type of people who're normally friends.

Okay, okay, so, I don't like her, never have, and now she's even more horrible to me.
But, Ivan and I will always be mates, we're too cool not to be haha.
But, who really cares.

We're going to have a KFC winter picnic...in a greenhouse! Next week.
Yau, Yaidenlina, Tom, Caroline, Aysia, Gourdan, Sho, James, Will, Flynn, Hannah and I. :) It'll be fun.
Yeah...the idea was mine, if you didn't guess.
We're having pokemon cupcakes, too. Also my idea...and James' obsession.

Oh, yes, almost forgot...
I HAD THE BEST PRESENT EVER FOR CHRISTMAS FROM JONATHAN! (ehem)
Okay, so I asked for it. But, I have a Helix pendant!!!! OMG, it's so awesomeeeeee.<3!
*Victory dance*

But, I'd better go and watch Dollshouse before it gets too late and my Heroes DOUBLE Bill [ Omgshdjfurtdnshsgsfdhfdkgkldjs!!!!!!] <--- That'd be an exclamation of uber excitement.

I've decided something...
I'm not going to make a fuss about stuff anymore. I'm going to keep to myself, do my own thing, hang out with my friends, work hard, and try not to dwell on the things that have upset me recently. There's probably no point in getting upset about it anymore. I don't think he wants me there anymore, in any capacity, and much as that hurts I can't change it, after all...*sigh* so, I'll just be myself and hope that's not the case. Because I'd miss him a lot.

No doubt...at some point this view of mine will change but I don't want things to be horrid between us, because it's the most horrible thing ever. :(
I just want...I dunno...him to always be happy. :)

I still remember days,
Things weren't always this way.
I used to make you smile. If only for a while.
I know that people change, maybe you're no to blame, but must you burn a hole, so deep into my soul?

Crisis

"A beautiful story left incomplete, oh, how he knocked me off my feet. Why'd you only shoot me half way to the moon?
And, I can't get over that, over that.
Baby, after loving Jack. There's no going back, going back."

Well, I'm back from holiday now. Have been for...a few days now. I got back on New Year's Day, at, surprisingly for me, 2pm. Wow, early!
Anyway, the panto went really well in the end, on the last day.
Even if the day before was a bit...upsetting, I guess you'd call it.

Michael was even more self-obsessed than usual...which is something in itself. God, he's so damned irritating, I want to hit him. Oh, wait, been there, done that.
If he didn't show me once, her showed me no less than fifteen times his new dance move for his part in the panto. He was Prince 'not so' Charming.
We cleared up the blocks afterwards (Laura, David and I)...because everyone else had left! But, it wasn't too much trouble, really. As we were walking back from the Drama studios, Laura and I were walking ahead and, out of the blue I might add, David just went,
"You walk very stylishly, don't you?" To me.
Okay, how to you respond to something like THAT?! I just went 'Um, do I?'
Oh, yes, but Laura found it hilarious. As soon as we were back in the common room and David went to take his make-up off, she started laughing and, according to her it was 'Nerd-Flirting.' Oh great. Just great.

Not.

Anyway, so, as that was the last day of term, we all said goodbye, and went home. I left that night at 7 or something for Wales, and was there for two weeks.
I read, played on the playstation, slept, and watched boxsets. Wow, go me. I'm surprised I'm not fat now.
Got snowed in at one point, too. Oh, fun, fun, fun.
No internet, phone signal or communication with anyone for two weeks. That was just...spiffing.

Got home on the first. No, didn't go to any parties. In fact, I missed, not one, but TWO parties.
Sho's, on the 27th, where we were all gonna stay round at his and make taki yaki and watch crappy movies. Kinda glad I missed it actually. And, Jenna's on New Years Day. Okay, I'm not put out that i missed either...but, I have to pretend to be so that they don't get offended.
So, got home, lucky me and...fell asleep. I like sleep.
Actually had a phonecall, too.
See, I asked him if he would...not actually expecting to keep his...okay, it wasn't exactly a promise, but, whatever. I pretty much have gotten used to the fact that, if I ask something of Jonathan, he 99% of the time won't remember it.
So, imagine my surprise when my phone rang, and I answered to hear his voice. Actually took me a second to get over the shock of him remembering.
Probably shouldn't let him know that...

But, anyway, it was nice of him.

Went back to school on the 4th. God, that was a horrid day. But, I got to read my book, and although I was interrupted every other minute by people, insiting on hugging me, and kissing my cheek. I mean, what is up with that?! Why do girls keep kissing me?!!!! It actually creeps me out, majorly.
Oh, yeah, I've come to the conclusion that I hate women. Because, it's true. yay, Misogynist!
I mean, guys, yeah. But, girls, just no. In fact, most guys, just no. I think boys are scared of me...I guess being weird as I am must put everyone off...except lesbians. How pathetic my life is.
Girls take more interest in me openly, than boys do. The boyfriends I have had...arg...two were idiots, the third used me to vent his anger...with whatever weapon was handy at the time...and the last...it's buckets o' confusing.

Met up with James Linehan on Monday, after school, and he went over the C1 stuff with me, because I fail...as per usual.
But, it was useful, so, here's hoping for next Monday.
Tuesday...had lessons...actually barely spoke to anyone. Then went to Simon's to do Biology exam revision for next week. We got quite a lot of work done, and downloaded some podcasts about the stuff we need to revise so we can listen to them in the background until we remember.
Then we just chatted to Alice on msn. It was hilarious.

So, today, I was supposed to have school but it snowed. So, no school.
I was supposed to meet up with Jonathan...that didn't happen either.
I should stop predicting these things...they always come true.
Bloody still snowing, so I doubt there'll be school tomorrow, either, oh, great. Not.
I don't honestly know what I want out of life anymore, but, one thing I do know is I want out.
As soon as possible.

As soon as I'm old enough to walk out that door and never look back, I'm doing it. Get away from my family, everyone I know, this life. I don't want it anymore. All that seems to happen is one crushing thing after another. I'm reaching a limit here.
And I'm tired. Tired of coping with emotions that I neither understand, nor want.
To myself, I sound pathetic, but, I honestly can't deny that I've been building up to this for a long time.
Maybe I'm not perfect, maybe I don't try my hardest, or understand why people do things. But, at least I try. I try so hard for the people I know and care about. To be what they ask of me, to listen when they need it. I really do. Yeah, I'm self-pitying, sure. I don't care anymore. I want something good for myself.

I know there are people worse off than me, who don't have a family even one as small as mine, or their's abuse them, and terrible things but...I'm not going to say it touches the surface for me either. It means nothing. Maybe I'm cold-hearted, but, sure, though I'm thankful for what I have, and it could be that I'm greedy for more, honestly, I don't think it's too much for me to want something.
And, I don't think I'm going to find any of the things I need where I am.

I feel like I've turned into someone else, but, I don't want to be me, anyway.
The things I feel, they don't go away. And, maybe I'm just not meant to not hurt, maybe other people are like this, too. Maybe, everyone is.
I don't know what it is, I wish I did I just know that physically it hurts.
I felt better for all of a week...and then the world comes crashing back down. The way everyone acts, and I'm just as bad. I shouldn't judge others, when I hear the gossip, too. Probably no better than any one of them, but it hurts.
People are so cruel to one another. We bitch about our friends, we betray those we care about, we lie, work towards our own gains...there is no trust. I don't trust them anymore because much as I wish I could, I've seen it too many times to think that the people I care about won't hate me, bitch about me, see some fault in me.

The stupid thing is, whoever reads this, will probably think I sound suicidal. Funny thing is, I'd never consider suicide. I like myself too much for that. But, there is nothing I hate more than myself. If I was someone else, and I knew me...I would hate me. As myself, of course I feel upset when epople hate me, but I can actually see why. It's like there's this thing in me...that you just can't like. Sooner or later, you hate me. And, I'll feel like shit, meet new friends...however much later...they hate me, too. I don't know what it is about me that makes people feel that way about me.
I don't even know why I hate myself. or, why, when I look in the mirror I feel sick, so sick.

And yet I induldge in vanity, kidding myself. I bloody well confuse myself trying to be normal. I wonder if I have an actual personality, or not.

I'm pretty sure my mum hates me really, it's just the compulsory love that she has. She has to love me because I'm family. But, not really. I don't know, I just don't. I hate sounding like a silly little emo-chick. I'm not depressed, i don't want to kill myself, my ego is larger than a double decker bus, and I can be the biggest bitch I've ever encountered.
But, at the same time, I feel like it'd all be a lot better off without me there, I loathe what I am, I can't have faith in anything i do or my abilities, and I feel so guilty and obligated to attempt to help people.
I'm probably mental...that'd be my kinda luck.
Or, just a normal teenager.

Evene with that I fail. I don't want to drink, I don't want to drive, I want to live at home for uni because of the financial side, I've never wanted to smoke, or see what drugs are like...none of that pulls at me. Growing up...there's nothing in it that I see as desirable.
I can't even picture myself grown-up. No one else seems to have that problem.
Everyone at school knows...they see a family, a home, work, normal things like that. They assume love, and happiness. The boyfriends they have, it's always forever. they always love them more than anything.

I can't picture a home, or getting married. I can't think that would ever happen to me. I don't see myself ever having children. It doesn't interest me. I want to work, but I want to do my own thing. I don't assume that I'll have love...I doubt I will, or happiness...that'd make a nice change.
Boyfriends...I've never thought of as permenant. I've always seen that there will be an end, I usually manage to pin point it, too. On the most part, inside, I have very few feelings about connections to others.
I want to feel something, I do. Stupid thing is, when I did...I realised it far too late. I didn't expect it. Not one bit. Shocked the hell out of me. And even that's a lost cause, isn't it? I can't expect anything, I don't. I never really did.

People say they care about me, but, really, I don't think that's the case. I think it's what everyone does. They pretend. They say they love someone, they say they care, in any way, but really it's just words with no back-up. Nothing real. Nothing essential to that is there.

There are too many questions I don't know the answers to. It's so frustrating. But, I just wish that, for once, one day, there's just one person...I'm not even saying like...love, just a friend, at least who doesn't hate me the way I am. I don't want to spend my whole life on my own.
Being young doesn't change the fact, that I think I've lost whatever I had.

I wish there was a part in this story, where I could say that, ' and then it turned out, that, in actual fact...' and write an ending to it.
Sadly, I can't. The funny thing is, I would write myself more pain, most probably.
The things I know about, they're not all that useful in every day life.
I'd rather be anywhere but here.

Sometimes, I wish I'd never met someone who managed to make me bloody care. But, I don't, and I do. I want to hate them, but I can't, because...i can't. I think I just ruin things for people.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I just realised, I have a tonne of work I haven't done, and that I am so screwed, and it's late and I have no time and, awwww, crap.
I have a maths mock tomorrow, too. But, at least I'll be going to bed earlier than 4 am today.
Except, you know, I just can't be bothered. I want to watch Live at the Apollo. :D
Right, I will go and do some work now! I promise myself...
I love my iPod...haha.
Farewell, for now.

Break Apart.

"It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder,
You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older.
But the media men beg to differ, judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate, is getting pretty thin,
The water's getting warmer, so you might was well swim.
My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?
'Cause that's the way I like it, and I never get bored. "
-All Star, Smash Mouth

Okay, it's Monday...yayyyyyyyy.
Not.
I hate Mondays. Cliched, sure, but, oh, so true.
Monday, is, officially...almost as bad as Wednesdays.
Wednesdays are terrible, because I have a full day of lessons, and then extra Chemistry afterwards. And, I have panto rehearsals during lunch-time, and will, therefore, have no food all day! ACK! Food. :(
Not that I've been feeling that hungry, but I should probably eat between 7am and 6pm...at some point.

I had Biology first lesson with the gang, which was good. We didn't do much revision, but I seem to be excelling at Biology currently, so that wasn't too much of an issue. I can't believe Sarah got two marks higher than me in the mock though! Okay, so, I didn't revise...and so...maybe I got a D...but, for no revision and very little attention towards the class, I found that to be rather good.
Then, I had Physics...I think...no, wait...Chemistry! That's the one.
That was...interesting. I still don't understand the atomic structures of how lattices change in bond strength as they move along the period. Well, I understand it, but I want to know WHY, which makes it more confusing for me, not knowing.

Not much happened today, I must admit.
I had a maths test during my third lesson, and was then forced to present something to the class. That was abysmal.
I was so dizzy I thought I might faint. Though, Jakes and Hussam's presentation was rather amusing so that cheered me up.
Then, we had Physics...last lesson of the day. Hooray, with a party hat and knobs on. Not.

There may be a trip to CERN to see the Hadron Collider!!!!!! Next September, in Geneva, Switzerland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<3
Ahhhhhhhhhh! Physics Geek Out here!

I need to get a pair of those Nerd glasses, and just wear them for my Physics moments.
There should be a Physics Geek Out Dance...
Wait, no, that'd be the worst dance in history...remembering, it'd be geeky.

Oh well. Embrace the inner Geek.
Hadron Colliderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Yay!
As, you may, or may not have assumed at this point, I both want and plan to be on that trip.
Hehe.
Then I went home and watched Supernatural.
My day.
The end. :)

I Hate...

"I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. "

- Ten Things I Hate About You.



Last night, I discovered that I had a fever. Now, I've never had one before, so it didn't make much sense to me, but, I felt hot and dizzy, then got the worst headache.

Apparently, Pippa gave it to me, because she was ill on Friday with a fever...and I saw her at rehearsals that afternoon. So, that mystery is solved, but, damn it was horrible.

I just stayed in bed for most of the day.



Simon and Alice had their DATE today! Omg, I was so excited for them. I mean, it's thanks to me they actually admitted they liked each other...but, it made me rather jealous at the same time. Not because I like Simon, because I don't. Far from it. Well, as a best mate, but...just no. Anyway, it did hurt a bit...after all, Simon and Sammie broke up about three weeks ago and already he's got someone new and moved on.

Then there's me...arg.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!



Anyway, I watched the last episode of season three of Heroes, and it was rather awesome if I do say so myself. I LOVE Sylar! <3 id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Heh.



S

Y

L

A

R

<3 id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">CYFA. I had this really weird feeling that he'd be home...and he'd be there, but, I just pushed it to the back of my mind. Stupid thing is, I walked right past him and didn't notice, then...yes, then throughout the ENTIRE service...I could just kind of sense him there. It's official, I'm a freak. I can 'sense' people. ._.



So, yeah, anyway, that didn't go fantastically well when I turned around and saw him...:/ I don't even know why it scared me so much.



Okay, okay...moving on from that epic life fail.

#





Still trying not to think about it....

.

.

.

.

.

.

Not working.

.

.

.

.

*Shoots self*







Okay, anyway, so, music...music, music, music, music, music, music, music, music. Hmmm, what about it?

Ha.

I think I should make a list of songs. not sure why, but it'll probably make me feel a bit better.

Hmmm.

I am quite liking the Britannia High Soundtrack and Once More With Feeling Soundtrack.
So, anyway, end of the day. :) all done-a-roo.

"Start Of Something"

Now, I know, where to go,
I'm not following the crowd,
But, there's, so many things just staring at me.
I'm not going, with the flow,
I gotta wave 'Goodbye', and say 'Hello',
To unfamiliar circumstances.

Oo-h, I'm gonna start believing in myself,
It's up to me, and no one else.
I feel it.
This could be the start of something.
I can feel, my heart is jumping.
Want to walk, but can't stop running,
Oh, I can't stop running.
Good to be, a part of something.
Once, a part of someone's nothing.
This could be the start of something,
This could be the start of something good.

Life's a bitch, life's a mess,
Tryin'a find your way, it's not that easy,
It's not the way it looks on TV.
I'm fully clothed, but still undressed,
Like, I'm walked on the highest wire,
without a safety net below me.

O-h There ain't another place I'd rather be,
Listen to the voice inside of me, that's shouting:
This could be, the start of something.
I can feel, my heart is jumping.
Want to walk, but can't stop running,
Oh, I can't stop running.
Good to be, a part of something.
Once, a part of someone's nothing.
This could be the start of something.
This could be, the start of something good.

This could be where I belong,
It's just so good to belong.
Maybe, this time is the one,
Maybe, this time is the one time I've been waiting for.

This could be, the start of something,
I can feel, my heart is jumping.
Want to walk, but can't stop running,
This could be the start of something good.

So, today, I met up with Catherine (My friend, Alison's older sister...not that Catherine isn't my friend, too.) She's on holiday from Oxford university, so it was nice to see her. We ambled around town for a few hours, and it was fun.
I haven't done much else, it's still fairly early in the day...
I'm going away on holiday the day after we break up from school, which Fia just asked me. Because she wants to meet up with me.
Sadly, I won't be around enough.

I guess it doesn't matter, she has other friends anyway. Though, the two people I do want to see during the holiday - well, I can't see Fia because of being away - and the other hasn't bothered to tell me when he's coming home, even when I asked. Which probably means he doesn't want to tell me or see me, which is just 'peachy'. (Heavy on the sarcasm, there.) Well, whatever, I can't make people want to see me.
I'll just sell his present on eBay if he doesn't bother to arrange to meet up some time in the next week.
Wait, that sounds very cruel...

But, I'd be upset, so...maybe I would be cruel about it...I don't know. Ah, I'm so mean. XD :(
Not really, actually, I'm quite nice...I think. I try hard for people, so why shouldn't i get something back once in a while?
I'm trying to be less of a doormat for people...I find it difficult. I usually just let them have their way if I care about them, few and far between, but still.
I'd just appreciate it if people cared once in a while...but, you can't play with someone's heart either, because it's unfair. I hope I never hurt anyone like that...
It's doubtful I would, not because I don't have it in me...I think it can be fairly said that every human being has the ability to rip another's heart out metaphorically. (In some cases probably literally, but that'd be murder...). Yes, anyway, I just don't think people notice me enough to get hurt by me like that. So, I suppose everyone's safe from me.

I'm not even interested in other people anymore. Haha. Not in a selfish, 'The World Revolves Around Me' way, just, that I'm not the person I used to be. I refuse to rely on anyone anymore. :) Ever.

I'm on the last episode of Heroes now. :D yay!

"There's no way out here, there's nothing left in here.
No time for loving, no.
Are you really gonna throw it all away?
Are you really gonna throw it all away?
There's no love in a fight song, only the sound of your heart breaking."

I think, that there are times when...it's okay to be confused...
If that makes sense.
Sometimes I feel so happy with the new life I've been able to make since starting sixth form...a friendship group, the work, myself...I'm proud of myself, in a way.
But, at the same time, beneath the surface, all day, it's like there's this sadness just waiting to break out...like then the meniscus of water breaks over a beaker. There's something stopping it from spilling over, but, any second it might just split apart and fall away, letting everything come tumbling out. I'm not sure...if it's bad to feel this way though.

I've never felt like this before, if I'm honest.
There were times when I was younger, when I used to feel so hurt and constantly scared at school that I couldn't trust anyone, but...it's not like that.
I trust people, and I'm thankful that I have the friends I do right now, because they're fantastically special.
But, it's not like anything else.
I've had times were I've felt angry because of why I hurt, others when I just felt lost and pathetic...but, I don't think it's like any of that. I used to be able to not feel it, it wasn't always, but somewhere along the way it seems to have taken root.
It's weird to describe, but, physically, I feel it, it's like there's a numb area in my chest that wasn't there before. *sigh* Oh well.
Maybe I'm going to have a heart attack? :)

I'm not trying to be angsty, I got sidetracked by a sad song, sorry! haha.

What type of calendar shall I get myself this year?
There's a list of ones I like at the moment.
(This is a very important part of the year - calendar choosing)

• TrueBlood
• Buffy The Vampire Slayer
• Heroes
• Star Trek
• Transformers
• Johnny Depp (Because he's just so cute XD)
• Zachary Quinto...if they make one, and if they don't...THEY SHOULD!

So, yes, those are my choices...I think I'll probably buy the Heroes one, to be honest, or Star Trek. I'm just so cool like that. I just realised Zachary Quinto's in both...heh. All good then.

Other stuff...that's randomly come into my head...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I'd like another corset. <3>Ah well.

Maybe I should just become a lesbian?

Kissing girls, eh? No, I can't really see myself doing, or enjoying that...it doesn't really appeal. Okay, I guess, a very small part of my does find the idea interesting, experimentation and all that crap...and Sienna Miller. OMG.

Anyway, it's in realm of no, lesbianism.

Lesbians don't see Zachary Quinto shirtless and melt, or read about Eric in TrueBlood and wonder why the hell Sookie doesn't just dump Bill and get together with Eric. He-llo! Why would she not want Eric? Pft. He's blond, blue eyed, powerful, amusing, not too muscular and really tall. What is not to like there?!

Bill's just...rough and manly...and muscle. Bleh. Not a good type of (okay, not MY) manly. Plus, she can have a conversation with Eric.

Okay, it's a BOOK! I don't care...why am I ranting about it? It's not real life. Probably a good thing Eric's not real...I'd jump his bones without a second thought. *sigh* Very good thing he isn't real.

Anyway, I'm working on a Physics project about swords - how awesome is that?! - I chose the topic because:

1) Swords are awesome.

2) They're very historical.

3) I get to bring a sword into school.

4) SWORDS FOR THE WIN!

5) I want one.

6) I wish I was a Ninja.

7) There's a Katana in Heroes - seal of approval.

8) They're just cool.

9) I know a lot about swords.

10) Too much.

11) I WANT TO BE A NINJA, DAMMIT!

I should go and do that awesome Physics project now...and my Chemistry exam paper.

Farewell, for now.

Bon Jour ~!

Okay, well, I've had a blog before but that didn't go so well.
Or, more it did, but, adding to it just doesn't seem right after some of the stuff that's happened in my life recently.
So, I have decided to section off that piece of my life, and start a new blog - as you can see.

I don't quite plan to do the same things I did with my last blog - where it really was just a blog about my life, I guess.
I've now decided that I could do a lot more with a blog than talk about my boring self.
Or, at least, not all of the time. I am just a tad arrogant like that.

So, here goes, my first entry to the clean, new blog. It's quite fun making things like blogs...thinking up names and so on.
I wonder how some people just come up with striking names for their e-mails etc. and I have to think about it for ages. However, when it comes to naming characters...I string some letters together in my head and PING! character complete with personality, physical description and background appears in my mind.

I do suppose I should explain about myself a little bit...as, of course, it won't just be people that already know me reading my blog. I hope that people I know don't read my blog, if I'm honest...it scares me haha!
Okay, here goes:

My name is Francesca, though I'm known as Frankie, or Franky. Whichever spelling people choose, really. But, I prefer with an 'ie'...though, that connects to the reason I moved blogs so there are reasons why I have chosen to call myself Franky this way for the time being.
I'm sixteen, almost (I say almost to make myself feel better about being so young) seventeen. An Aries, which means nothing but I love my star sign. First in the zodiac, logical, determined, head-strong etc. That's very me.
I'm doing my A-levels at the sixth form of my old Girls' school. It's a mixed sixth form, but, it may as well not be. In a word ; Hell-no. (well, a hyphenated word :P)
I'm taking four subjects - I was doing Critical Thinking, too, but I dropped it because I found it unhelpful to my cause.
I study Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Pure maths with mechanics.

I enjoy Physics the most and hopefully, I'd like to take it at university. Provided I'm smart enough to get in anywhere.

So, aside from school-work, I'm pretty boring. I like cake ( who doesn't?), I don't have a favourite colour really but I do have a few I prefer. I don't have a favourite band, specifically. But, I love music so much! Generally, though I don't admit it that often, I enjoy classical music more than anything. I love Michael Buble, and Hayley Westernra (How cool is the name Westernra?...It's just awesome.)

I enjoy television series; I have a million box sets. Heroes is my favourite.
I read a lot, but, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing. I like thrillers, murder mysteries, Horror/ fantasy and romance. Yes, I'm a sucker for romance. I can't normally say so, because everyone thinks I'm a sap because of it. But, there's nothing wrong with romance novels. In fact, if anything, the thing about romance novels is they're not reality...and things don't work out as nicely as they do in books.

I like walking aimlessly, just...enjoying walking...in fact, forgetting you're walking but letting your feet just pad along like there's nothing in the world that could stop you.
I'm accident prone (walking aimlessly probably doesn't help me in that respect, sadly), have terrible balance - only on flat surfaces though - and I always seem to have some sort of injury. That's probably because I do kick-boxing though. :)
MMA is the most amazing thing after the previously mentioned! Oh, and Youtube is my child. It's so great. I don't really watch music videos, but I enjoy Katers17's Blog, a lot. It's hilarious.
And, generally I'll watch and anime I do watch on there.
I don't really like anime. It annoys me. Especially the voices. They're so irritating, I could strangle them.

But, I started pretending I disliked anime and manga all-together because some of the people I was and am close to acted like it was horrible. And, because of another person in my life, associated it with bad things, and arguments and me...I guess. So, I stopped letting anyone knows I liked it.
I do like manga though. Not so much anymore, but it's pretty to look at, and I enjoy drawing it.

I quote things a lot...films, song lyrics, other people, poems, Shakespeare, other literature etc. I love it.

I want an Xbox 360 SO much!!!! (There's my being truthful haha) I enjoy technology, like my iPod touch etc. They're awesome.

Aside from those kind of things, there isn't much else to my life. I have a love of cinema, and I have a job. My group of friends changes a lot because I move myself from tight groups. I rarely want to know people fully, which is a failing of mine. It's quite unlikely that I won't get bored of someone. There are a few rare exceptions in my life, but, generally I become disillusioned to people.
My best friend is Jack, but he lives far away from me, so I don't get to see him much. But, he's always there for me if I need to talk about things that upset me, or just laugh about nothing.
At school, my closest friends are in my Biology class, and we drive our poor, Irish teacher up the wall...accidentally.

Enough yattering away about me, okay, it's my blog, I am allowed but enough about things I like.
Oh, I like Ghost Hunt...thought I'd slip that in. Anyway, my day today...

First lesson off so I get a nice lie-in. My first lesson, which was second lesson was mechanics. Sadly I zoned out for most of it and ended up just writing part of the story I've started. Enough fanfiction for me. (well, aside from the joint one I'm working on) for a while.
Then I had break with Jade, Annie, Alice and Simon - and we chatted about nothingness and food. Which, was quite normal for us.
I had a Physics mock exam during my Physics double period, and then went over stuff for my Physics presentation on the use of steel in swords.
Panto rehearsals were on at lunch, in which I had a fight with Michael...for no reason, we just did. He asked me something, I ignored him, he kept staring at me, I pulled his hat over his eyes to stop him, he pushed me off the table and I slapped him. Then we went back to rehearsing.
Poor David's going to have to dress up as a girl because he's playing the nurse, and Pippa and the others want to drag him to Ann Summers, bless. Poor David.
He's pretty worried, and I don't blame him.
Even if I do kind of find Ann Summers shopping an interesting idea I wonder if I shouldn't have passed up before...I wonder if I could get someone to take me now...hmmm...

Anyway, it was amusing, no one in the group can act at all...the scene where Sleeping beauty gets pricked by a thorn on a rose culminated to ;
"Oh, Vincent, a rose - is that for me?"
"Oh, well, ye-"
"Thank-you, it's lovely."
"You see I've been wanting to tell you for a while I..."
(Pricks finger.) "Ouch." (Faints).

It was such a monotone of an ouch, too.

We had Biology last lesson, so, we sat and revised, and then started talking about The Jungle Book and Llama...and singing Disney songs.
Yes, this is my life.

Farewell for now. I'm off to watch Heroes. Season Three - '1961' :)